Wednesday, October 18, 2006
After reading people’s blogs, I suddenly feel enlightened. To be honest, I really should not be complaining about my overall average even though I still feel slightly sad that it could have been better. You know how almost everyone goes that they could have done better after doing an exam. Well, it’s just too bad, coz that’s the grade you received and you might as well face up to it.
Somehow, I have managed to come to terms with my LA grades. I am wistfully hanging onto the illusion (?) that results do not equal to real ability, as my nice friends keep comforting me with. Of course, that is not a very valid excuse to alleviate the devastation I faced , but now I am just mildly dissatisfied, which is a huge improvement. Then again, I never professed to be good at it, it was just that I thought and still hope to do well for it as in the past.
I agree with what Sheryl said. It IS depressing to know you can never beat the people over there in the top class. Sure, they excel academically and most of them deserve it for working their butts off. Thankfully, I have learnt that this does not necessarily equal to greater opportunities in life in the future or being extremely intelligent. Even read somewhere in Jamie’s blog that people with good results don’t have a purpose in life. That is a bit extreme, I don’t think it is true, but it goes to show that good results don’t prove anything. So we should stop thinking that we are superior to anyone in some neighbourhood school.
Actually, I should be quite sad at this point. My results are not fantastic, and neither do I have much talent in areas not relating to school. I used to, but all of them are mere ghosts of the past. This is why I have resolved not to focus sooo much on studies ( I admit that I worked hard this year, and look where it brought me) . Life is short, we should use it to enrich ourselves with other things that we have passions for.
That is why, I feel really angry when I see people who are obviously very talented (in other areas) get so het up over results. Perhaps it is the perception that exams and marks are more important. Come on, if you are good at sports/singing/writing etcetc, why be glum over something so transcient and not very significant as marks?! & to think these people get pissed at others because they do well…
These people who excel at things besides academics are truly the ones who should be proud of themselves! In my opinion, anyone can be good at academics, if they try hard enough. (some brains would come in handy, too) There’s nothing great about being fantastic at academics. Even though you are more likely to get into some renowned university, what’s the point? Really, why go be so kiasu like certain people, omg like one mark is a matter of life and death!
I don’t think they do it on purpose, but when I saw the snobby looks on their faces today, I felt like going up to them and slapping them. You think you’re so wonderful at everything? Try being perceptive to the feelings of others around you, just for once. That isn’t very much to ask right?
I know that people should not be blamed or despised for being “smart”, but it is factually demoralizing when elitist groups get all the credit. Anyway, I don’t think it has anything whatsoever to do with being smart.
I was quite angry with you for doing that. Flaunting your marks, as if they were a gift from above. I know your real intentions, even though you masked them so seamlessly. But, thank you sincerely, for making me realise how academic-oriented I was, just like you are. It’s just sad that you haven’t and will not realise it. I do hope that you will one day.
This post is highly contradictory, but why should I edit it? Contradicting yourself is viewed as something taboo or wrong, but sometimes we just think that way. Isn’t it human nature to experience feelings of irony?
Anyway, all this has made me realise a very important thing. I cannot emphasise the significance and happiness I have with the choice I had made this time last year. I remember how I was fretting over my subject combination, even consulting teachers for help.
As if they knew me well enough to answer that. It was a good choice in the end, as I chose something which I preferred (although I dare not declare my passion for it as it’s not something I feel a great connection with yet) and I am quite sure I would have done better if I had chosen physics. Because I would have studied hard and I have a dad who can help me. I want to just sideline a bit and mention that the reason I did well for Math was because he helped me by answering my incessant queries. Yep there you have it, Kyna is NOT good at Math, she just has a dad who is good at it and can help her. This is why anyone who has help academically will probably do pretty well and this has NOTHING to do with their intelligence.
Back to where I was. Someone made me realise that it’s not about the marks that you get for a random subject that is important, like is it’s high compared to my lower mark for humanities. Thanks to another person ( I censor the name to protect the innocent), who enlightened me about humanities being more difficult to score at that science. This cheered me up greatly, when I was feeling even more in the dumps about scoring a B3 for Lit (aha see, I actually used to be sensitive about displaying my grades) compared to some people’s high A1s for science. They are different subjects, so they cannot be compared in terms of that. Usually, I guess humanities like history are much harder to score in, which is why I admire History people all the more for taking the risk to discover what they love <3
By no means am I saying that Science people have it easy, because Science requires much brain juice and the ability to think, I’m just citing that as an example to highlight how it is more important to pick something you have genuine interest in that will enrich your mind in the long run than something else just because you don’t know what else to pick, or for a lame reason.
This must be the longest post, I have many people to thank for their insightful opinions which really completely changed my mindset on academic stuff. No longer do I feel compelled to cry or throw a tantrum when my marks are the pits. In fact, I feel more happy at having made the right choice that makes me happy and brings a tiny smile to my face, in spite of the not so pleasant marks I may receive.
9:36 PM
